When I go running in the Phoenix Park at the weekend I can be sure I will see men wheeling big model airplanes onto wide open spaces and flying them by remote control. 

It's always men - somehow this way of having fun doesn't seem to appeal to women. That doesn't matter. What matters is that they are having fun. 

According to Doctor William Glasser who developed Reality Therapy in the late 1950s, and who is still going strong, we have a genetic need for fun. 

This is because fun is linked to play which is linked to learning. Look at how much young children learn through play and you will see what he means. 

Here's the crucial thing, though, and it explains why there's not much point in having a beautiful big model airplane unless you can take it out somewhere and fly it. 

Play is an experience. It’s not just a matter of owning things. Flying the airplane is an experience. Running is an experience - it's not just a matter of owning a tracksuit. 

Ryan Howell, an assistant professor of psychology at San Francisco State University, has outlined the importance of fun experiences recently in his research. 

He asked people about the amount of satisfaction they got from what they bought. What he found was that people got more happiness from buying experiences than from buying things. 

So, paying to go to the theatre, to a restaurant or to play golf with friends is more satisfying than buying an iPod or a camera if you're not going to use them. 

Buying experiences tends to meet other needs as well, Howell explained. Usually you will feel more connected to other people, for instance: the guys in the Phoenix Park chatted to other guys who were also flying airplanes. 

I saw an example of the many values of experiential fun in Antibes a few years ago when I came across a group of - mainly - men playing boules (a game in the same family as bowling) in an area set aside for that purpose. They got to compete, to have fun, to be involved with other people and to improve their health through exercise. And the financial cost was little or nothing. 

That's an important point about buying experiences rather than things - very often it costs less. I can buy the experience of visiting the South of France a couple of times a year much more cheaply than I can buy a house in the South of France. I can buy the experience of driving much more cheaply than I can buy a status symbol on wheels. 

When I first saw them, I was inclined to laugh at the guys trundling their toy airplanes across the Phoenix Park and comparing notes with other guys. But I was wrong. They are having an experience which involves them with other people and which gives them a sense of satisfaction without doing any harm to anybody anywhere. 

Model airplanes are not for me but there's a principle behind what the airplane enthusiasts do that I recommend to you (and to myself): pursue experiences rather than things and the quality of your life will immediately improve. 

Padraig O'Morain is a counsellor and journalist. His book Like A Man, A Guide To Men's Emotional Well-being, is published by Veritas.