Everybody loves their children but, deep down, they just can’t wait for the teething, the terrible twos and the pre-school years to be over, never mind the teenage angst. Then comes the next generation – the grandchildren – and the cycle starts again.

While some grandparents are happy to see their grandchildren a couple of evenings a week or at the weekends, others get to see theirs from 8am to 6pm, Monday to Friday.

The increased number of women in the workforce over the past few decades has seen grandparents increasingly acting as full-time minders to grandchildren while their son or daughter is out earning a crust.

Rita O’Reilly, chief executive of Parentline, says that adult children should ask whether a grandparent will childmind for them, rather than assume they will. “I think it’s up to the children to ask the parents would you like or be willing to mind my children and what arrangement can we come to?”

Being paid for the work is also important, especially if it is saving the child’s parents thousands of euro a year in crèche fees. “When you’re paying them, it also becomes a business relationship and there is benefit for both,” O’Reilly says.

Joan [not her real name] suggests being direct with your children from the start. She has her own interests and activities and was never interested in minding her grandchildren on a full-time basis. She made this very clear to her own children; in a very light-hearted way she told them she wasn’t going to be childminding for any of them on a full-time basis.

“I’m happy to babysit when I can,” she says. “I said to all of my children ‘please ask me to babysit and if I’m busy I’ll say no. Please feel free to ask again, it just doesn’t suit me today, the next time it might suit me.’”

Some grandparents will be delighted to care for grandchildren on a more regular basis. “Sometimes it works both ways,” O’Reilly says. “Some grandparents want to do it, others don’t. The other alternative is to let them do it but fit it into their lifestyle and split it between a crèche, both grandparents, or a sister and a grandparent.

“Where the children are [age-wise] in the family will dictate… what they [the grandparents] are able for,” she adds.

Grandparents who need advice on how to approach this topic with their child should contact Parentline, which offers support, guidance and information to parents. “They might feel it sounds harsh [to say] ‘no I’m not minding my grandchild’. Parentline would allow them say it out loud, anonymously, without any judgment and they can maybe find the language to use to say no or make suggestions,” O’Reilly says.