Every year in the run up to Christmas, we’re reminded that a pet is not just for Christmas; a pet is for life. Unfortunately, for those whom a pet becomes an integral part of a family unit, life means 10 to 20 years of the pet’s life, not the remainder of the owner’s life. Bereavement is something most pet owners will have to deal with at some stage.

Pete Wedderburn, a veterinary surgeon in a practice in Bray, Co Wicklow, and resident veterinary surgeon on TV3’s Ireland AM show, says that the loss of a pet is a really common concern. How people react is unpredictable and everybody is different, he says.

Grieving
“Pets become part of the family. Sometimes people get sad and get over it quickly. Sometimes people can rationalise ‘well my animal had a good long life and it was time for it to go’ and that’s it; they just miss the animal in the same way they’d miss a friend who’s moved away from town.”

However, he says, for others it can be as devastating as if they had lost a child. “When somebody has a severe grief reaction, then it’s very, very challenging because our society isn’t geared up for that.”

He points out that, if somebody loses a member of their family, they’ll get a huge amount of support from the community: people bring over meals for them, and they get sympathy for months after from people they meet and a week off work to gather themselves.

“If somebody loses a pet, they get none of that,” Wedderburn says. Close friends will give them understanding for a few days or weeks but, if they tell people, people won’t really understand. “That’s a big difficulty,” he adds.

Those who feel they need professional help can turn to a pet bereavement counselling service such as Solace Pet Bereavement. There are other counsellors who have a particular interest in this area and Wedderburn recommends that people ask in their local community.

Replacing your affections
In the same way that there is a wide range of grief reaction, Wedderburn says, there is a range of attitudes about whether or not to get a replacement pet within a short space of time.

There is no hard and fast rule here. He believes people should listen to themselves and do what feels right. “I think most people will realise they are never going to replace the animal that’s gone,” he says.

However, there are advantages to getting a replacement pet. “A new pet can be a useful distraction and, especially if you’re living alone, a pet’s great company.”

Making arrangements
Wedderburn encourages people, even as they get older, to get pets because of the benefits, such as companionship, they can get. People who would like the company of a new pet should not be put off by a fear that the pet will outlive them.

“I know a number of people who have died and, before they’ve died, have made arrangements so they know their pet will be looked after,” he says. He suggests talking to a local welfare animal group or vet about supports in finding a home for the pet following its owner’s passing on.

Choosing a new pet
If you are thinking about getting a new dog, Wedderburn encourages people to choose a rescue dog if they can. There are lots of unwanted dogs in Ireland, he says, due to over-production. “At the same time, it’s most important they choose a dog that’s appropriate for them. Some rescue dogs have problems, such as behavioural problems, which is why they’ve not done well in their first home. You want to take on a pet that suits you, not a pet that becomes a burden to you.”

Animal welfare groups can be helpful in placing pets in appropriate homes.

Pet cremation
Wedderburn also feels it’s important to be aware that, under waste management legislation, people are no longer meant to bury pets. Although it’s very unlikely someone would get in trouble for burying a small pet in a back garden, cremation is the legal and acceptable way of taking care of pets’ remains.

There is the default option of group cremation, which is arranged by your vet. You can also have an individual cremation and your pet’s ashes are returned to you in a casket.